I Was Unemployed

My Unemployment: Black Rose

Your life’s value in this world is like tomorrow…it never ends…

I was unemployed at the end of September 2012 from my previous position. It came at a vulnerable time for me, and came fast. Because of the complexity of bureaucracy, I along with two of my co-workers lost our jobs. Immediately, I could not but help to think about my co-workers who had major obligations as well. I also thought about how my money helps those around me time to time. I guess I care more for those around me than myself, especially when it comes to a fruitless commodity like money.

I was not upset at my former bureaucratic power bosses; instead I’m thankful for them. They gave me a job before I even graduated with my master’s. The essence of God’s love is forgiveness, and moving beyond a trapped mentality of man’s blind anger. I’m free and a man who struggles to progression, but makes the effort regardless without excuses. My worth is not solely economic. I did think about student loan payments, bills, etc. I didn’t let it consume me. I think in terms of confidentiality of your situations, it’s best to find a resolution before telling the masses. Even with the money, I didn’t let it consume me because humility of the past would not let me. Instead, as ALWAYS even when no tragedies have not taken place, I prayed.

I think sometimes as a black man, my culture and peers take money to the pinnacles of extremes. Some folks actually condense their lively worth into employment. This comes to no surprise due to the images and many interpersonal interactions and responsibilities that demand such thinking to take place. It sickens me. It can be demoralizing losing your job, but some people are not equipped for adversity. I poured faith over it all. I know good hearts may not get everything their way, but I know people with intrinsic motivation and perseverance can work through those hardships. I know people who have, which springs hope. Even without those examples, my faith would be unwavering. I have had tougher situations in my way both internally and in our world. There have been times when I wanted to smell and see blood pour, but weakness will then overflow within me. God and love would no longer dwell in my heart. I think part of this is why I am at peace with death and reciprocally so, living. The love and faith I have is limitless, it can only be conjured and illustrated through dreams. I say this deep stuff to point out that life is more than the money in your pocket or the job you have. Furthermore, money does not guarantee happiness. Often times braggadocios folks long for the relationship you have with your partner, the humility and confidence you display, the warmth and peace in your heart, thus your demeanor, or your unselfish attitude, even if it is for their benefit. Essentially, things without empirical value.

A great book to read is called, “The Wealth Cure,” by Hill Harper. He talked about how he was diagnosed with cancer and the materialistic items a day before his diagnosis he savored, was now obsolete in importance. After his successful surgery, he worked on things that didn’t need money, thus, real wealth. He worked out more, ate healthier, worked on some internal battles to become a better man (being in healthy relationships, put aside pride, being with family, assumptions and judgments of people eliminated, etc.). I remembered how lucky I am to have the people I have in my life, the opportunities I have, the short and long-term goals I have accomplished and will do in the future, my faith, and my constant journey towards being uplifted with peace as the by-product. I have learned to persist as a method of utility, no matter the situation.

People often let situations define them, then they are set on a path for a future of disappointment. I see this daily, and it can be hard, but it is harder for a single mother who is in your situation without education or a support system. It is harder for someone who has a felony record, and wants to do right, but is discouraged when filling out an application. It is harder for someone who grew up in DCFS, and has no family or mentors to show them what to do. My future is nothing but bright colors on a canvas going in different directions and patterns, but bright. Our journey never ends with tomorrow, this keys my excitement. Being pessimistic is not an excuse to be negative. It is hard for us all, so shut the hell up. Be appreciative for breath. Be grateful for your family and friends. Have faith. Do these things always and not just when something bad happens on your end. The test of humility is a lifetime ordeal, and not just in moments. In terms of my employment, check my LinkedIn. But to summarize that, a circle of people who were unselfish intertwined and placed in my life by the act of transference, all gave my rose color. Share my story…

-Vernon Johnson

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